Living With Purpose: A Guide for the Reflective Soul

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Life can sometimes feel like a series of small tasks, decisions, and obligations that pull us in different directions.

The world asks a lot of us—society, work, relationships, family, and even our own expectations.

In the midst of all this, it can be difficult to discern what truly matters.

It can leave you asking yourself, 'Am I really living in alignment with my greater purpose?' The desire to connect with something deeper and more meaningful is natural, especially when life feels like it’s moving too fast.

But what does that actually mean - to live in alignment with our greater purpose?

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The search for meaning is a core tenet of existential psychotherapy, which reminds us that life is inherently uncertain, and we are responsible for creating meaning in the face of that uncertainty.

I’m not going to offer you another magic, step-by-step formula for how to 'change your life' (if you find one that works please forward it on!).

Instead, let’s take a softer, more organic approach to aligning your daily life with your greater purpose—one that respects where you are now, without demanding instant transformation.

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1. Start With Quiet Reflection

Before anything can shift, it’s important to make space for quiet. This doesn’t have to be an hour of deep meditation (though if that resonates with you, great!). It can be just a few moments of stillness—whether it’s while sipping your morning coffee, walking to the bus, or taking a shower. The goal is to quiet the mental chatter and ask yourself a simple question:

What do I need most right now?

We’re often so distracted by the demands of 'the next thing' that we don’t take the time to listen to our minds and bodies. Pay attention to what rises to the surface. It could be an idea, a feeling, or a quiet knowing that you’ve been pushing aside. Give yourself the space to hear it—and to truly listen. Try not to push it away, even if it’s uncomfortable.

2. Revisit What You Value, Not What You 'Should' Value

We often get caught up in the 'shoulds' of life—goodness knows they’re pushed on us from an early age. The things society tells us we should care about or the goals we think we should be working towards—like there’s a one-size-fits-all roadmap to life fulfillment and satisfaction.

To truly align with our purpose, we need to reconnect with our own values. We must make intentional choices based on what we genuinely value, not what others dictate.

What drives you? What fills you with a sense of fulfillment, no matter how big or small? Write down a few of these things, and reflect on how they show up (or don’t show up) in your daily life.

What’s getting in the way?

Is it you?

Are there areas where you’re unintentionally sacrificing your values for someone else’s idea of success or happiness or even just their opinion?

This awareness is key to the realignment process. By choosing to live authentically, we embrace our freedom to shape our lives in a way that is true to ourselves. At the same time, we uphold our boundaries in day-to-day life, making decisions that align with our deepest values in moments when we often find it hard to not people-please.

3. Identify Your Subtle, Daily Choices

You may not be able to change everything about your life in an instant, and that’s ok.

Aligning with your purpose is about making small, incremental choices. It’s in the tiny decisions we make every day that either bring us closer to—or further from—our deeper purpose and ability to find stillness in everyday life.

This idea ties into existential theory’s emphasis on agency and responsibility: we are active participants in shaping the meaning and direction of our lives.

It might look like choosing a morning habit that grounds you, or carving out time for a passion project that’s been sidelined—even if it’s just 10 minutes a day. You don’t need to be out slogging in the garden for eight hours at a time for both you and the garden to reap the benefits!

It could be deciding to speak more kindly to yourself, setting a healthy boundary in a friendship, or even ending a relationship. Each of these actions is a step toward living more authentically and in tune with your true self.

Just as you are what you eat, you are also what you think and do.

4. Recognize the Power of Saying No

Aligning with your purpose doesn’t always mean being like Jim Carrey in Yes Man (although, great film!).

In fact, sometimes it’s the ability to say 'no' that creates space for what truly matters.

We’re often faced with the anxiety of freedom and choice. Part of that freedom is knowing when not to overextend ourselves in ways that detract from our true calling. Many of us struggle with this.

Whether it’s a commitment that drains you or an opportunity that feels misaligned, recognising when to step back is a powerful act of self-awareness. Saying 'no' isn’t selfish; it’s an act of self-respect and preservation.

It gives you the time and energy to say Yes to things that truly resonate with your core values.

5. Be Present

This process isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. The existential concept of being rather than doing encourages us to focus on our authentic, spiritual existence, rather than endlessly striving for some external ideal.

It ties back to everything we’ve discussed so far—finding space in each day to discover what you truly need.

Life offers no guarantees, and while we all have responsibilities to meet, constant distraction makes it easy to lose touch with the small, meaningful moments. When you shower, really shower. When you eat lunch, truly be there.

Enjoy those small moments.

Be present.

Be grateful.

We’re often rushing, as though an endless amount of time is owed to us—but it’s not.

And when you find yourself distracted or veering off course, be gentle with yourself. Progress doesn’t always look like forward movement; sometimes, it’s a quiet, patient return to your values.

6. Trust the Journey

This one can be tough—especially when life feels like it’s putting you through the ringer. But remember, this isn’t about achieving a final, perfectly aligned state.

Life is fluid.

And life can be really, really hard.

There will be days when you feel completely in tune with your purpose, and others when you feel lost. Days when you feel positive, and days when you’re crying your heart out.

Trust that both the moments of clarity and the moments of doubt are part of the journey.

Life is full of existential dilemmas—choices, challenges, and the paradox of being alive—and there is no perfect path. The pursuit of meaning is ongoing, deeply personal, and ever-evolving.

As long as you stay open to it, the path will unfold in its own time.

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Aligning your daily life with your greater purpose doesn’t happen overnight.

It’s not about making drastic changes, but about tuning in, being present, and recognising what truly matters to you. It’s about understanding who you are and accepting that you will continue to grow and evolve as life unfolds.

This journey is rarely easy, and if it were what would we learn?

There will be many moments of doubt, frustration, and confusion, but it’s in those moments that you also have the greatest potential for growth. The more you learn to listen to yourself, the more you’ll see that you already have the strength and wisdom within you.

You are more powerful than you realise.

Trust the process, be patient with yourself, and know that every step you take, no matter how small, is bringing you closer to the life that feels true and meaningful.